Nick's Birthday

My son, Nicholas would have been 20 on Sunday, November 9th, had he lived.

For anyone who has lost a child, the pain, anger and sorrow don't become any less sharp. Those feelings may take a back seat to the inevitable everyday tasks and duties that we must carry out, but I find the smallest reminder can easily bring them to the forefront again. For me, it is birthdays or holidays, a certain child's cry, or a child’s eyes looking into mine.

I used to ask myself if it was wrong to continue to feel the grief so deeply until I met another woman who had also lost a child. She, too, had the same conflicts of emotion: the need to "get on with life" and "snap out of it" versus the need to keep our children's memories alive. When we lose a child, especially if it is sudden and unexpected, it is as if a part of us dies too.

I shared with her why we put together the scholarship program. There is an absolute joy in keeping Nick’s memory alive, by sharing something he loved with other kids. There is also a “healing process” in evolving yourself into a project that has nothing to do with how or why he died. Don’t get me wrong, I still speak and write about how Nick died in an effort to prevent it from happening to another teen. But I don’t let that effort over shadow the fun side of Nick, and Nick loved singing school. Nick soooooooooooo wanted to be a Bass Singer, and would end up in the Altos every year. LOL.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures of Nick from when he was little:

Nick had the longest eyelashes of any baby I have ever seen. I know all mothers think their baby is the prettiest :) But........... he really was adorable. In this picture, he's about 4 weeks old.

This was Nick's 3rd birthday. There is nothing better than a Boy, a Bowtie, and a BigWheel when your three.

Singing at Old Paths MBC, September 28, 2008

Fun was had by all last weekend for the singing at Old Paths MBC.

The DoReMi Boys

The DoReMi Men's Quartet

(or the DoReMi Boys...... the later years,

but that Alto singer still looks pretty good! HA!)

Elijah's solo with the DoReMi Men's Quartet

Several of the DoReMi Ambassadors after the singing

Front row: Leslie, Elijah, Jonathan
Back row: Jessica, Carissa, Jamie, and Courtney

The Shoulders Family on their way back to Virginia

We were able to meet with Monty and Michelle, and the boys on their way back to Virgina. As most of you know, they are now PROUD grandparents of a new baby granddaughter. Amanda, Jimmy and baby are doing GREAT!

Catherine and Michelle

Michelle, Monty, & Alan

Catherine and a somewhat reluctant Chris

Catherine and Alex. Alex was our first scholarship recipient in 2004.

Tennesse State Gospel Singing Convention

The weather was gorgeous. The church was beautiful. and the SINGING was FABULOUS!!! Here are some of the pictures from the weekend.

Bill Shaw of the Blackwood Brothers Quartet

Bobby Bradley, 2008 President, Tennessee State Gospel Singing Convention

Kris & Key of DoReMi Gospel Music Academy

Heather & Connie, DoReMi Gospel Music Academy

We've been blessed that the kids that have been awarded the Nicholas Scholarship are very active in gospel music.

Alan, Catherine and some of the previous scholarship students.

Alan and Christina

Carissa & Catherine

Christina

Kayla

Seth

Tennessee State Gospel Singing Convention

75th Annual Tennessee State Gospel Singing Convention
September 12-13th Greenville, TN

Alan and Catherine with Bill Shaw of the Blackwood Brothers

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Faith, Hope & Love Trio from Sullivan Co, TN

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Bobby Bradley and his church choir

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Do Re Mi Ambassadors

Grand Old Gospel Reunion in Knoxville

Alan attended the Grand Old Gospel Reunion in August.

Alan and Jimmy Blackwood, the eldest son of James Blackwood, who is the leader of the Blackwood Brothers Quartet.

http://www.blackwoodbrothers.com/

Nick's Story.......

On August 16th, it will be five years since we lost Nick.

I am sending this to all of my friends and loved ones that are parents; coaches; teachers; Youth-Ministers, etc; and asking you to share his story:

In the summer of 2003, Nicholas was preparing to start High School and he had made the Varsity Wrestling Team.

On August 16th, several members of the wrestling team wanted to initiate the new members by making them play the “Choking Game”. Nicholas was about 5’6” and weighed 120 lbs. He was placed in a choke-hold by a much larger teammate. The point of the game was for Nick to stay in the choke-hold until he either “tapped-out” or “passed-out”.

The force used in the choke-hold crushed Nick’s windpipe. He never had the chance to “tap-out”.

There were 5 members of the Wrestling Team involved in Nick’s Death. One was charged with Reckless Homicide and the other 4 were charged with Hindering Prosecution and Obstruction of Justice.

I think it’s safe to say that not only did this end Nick’s life, but also it forever changed the lives of the other 5 involved.

Most kids have no clue how dangerous this activity is. Most parents have no clue that kids are doing this until someone in their lives dies or are damaged by it. Schools seem oblivious to it though it has been reported numerous times that this activity often takes place at school.

In Nick’s case, this “Game” was used as a Hazing Game by the wrestling team. In many cases it is self-inflicted.

Why Do Kids Do This?
Some do it for the high, which can become addictive. Others do it because it's "cool" and risky. Most of the kids who have died from this were not children in trouble. Most were well liked; active, intelligent, stable children who wanted nothing to do with drugs or alcohol. This was an activity they felt was safe. Children have no clue about the physiological principles involved and need to be told by the adults in their lives how dangerous this is. Also, most kids have no concept of their own mortality. They truly believe nothing can hurt them.

My hope is that Nick’s story can prevent this from happening to another child.

Nicholas was a bright, beautiful, precocious child, with a sophisticated sense of humor. He died on August 16th, 2003. He was 14 years old.

Water Fountain Memorial